Planning a Christening or Baptism Celebration: Guests, Timing and Food

A christening or baptism has two parts that often get blurred: the ceremony itself, held at a place of worship with an officiant, and the celebration afterwards, usually at home, in a hall or at a restaurant. The ceremony date and time usually come first, and everything else is planned around them.

Traditions differ widely between faiths, denominations and families, so treat this guide as a general outline. Check with your officiant for anything specific to your ceremony.

Start with the ceremony

Before you invite anyone, confirm:

• The date and time. Churches often have a set schedule, and some require preparation meetings in advance. Ask early, because the date drives every other decision.
• The length of the service. Knowing how long the ceremony runs helps you plan when the celebration can start.
• Who needs to attend. Parents and godparents are usually required. If godparents are traveling, give them the date as soon as it is set.
• Any dress expectations. Some churches have guidelines. Pass them on to guests.

Once the ceremony is fixed, you can plan the guest list and the celebration.

Decide who is invited to what

Many families invite a core group to both the ceremony and the celebration. Others invite a wider group to the party only. Whichever you choose, the invitation should list the ceremony and the celebration separately, with their own times and addresses. For example:

• Ceremony: 11:00 am at St. Mary's, 100 Main Street.
• Celebration: 12:30 pm at our home, 45 Oak Lane.

If the ceremony is for family only, simply invite those guests to the ceremony and share the celebration details with a wider group. A separate message for each group keeps everyone clear on where they are expected. Our post on handling the guest list when families blend has wording ideas for tricky guest lists.

Choose a time and a place for the celebration

Because ceremonies are often held in the late morning or early afternoon, many celebrations are a lunch or brunch. Choose a place that fits the number of guests:

• At home. Comfortable and low-cost, but you need space for everyone and a plan for the baby's nap.
• A hall or party room. Easier to manage for a larger group, though you will pay for the venue.
• A restaurant. Simple for the host, but you may need a minimum number of guests and a fixed menu. See our guide to restaurant party invitations when you are not the host of the bill.

Keep in mind the baby's schedule. A celebration that runs through the nap time is hard on everyone, so aim for a window of two to three hours.

Feed everyone without a lot of work

A light meal is enough. Options that tend to work well:

• A buffet lunch. Guests serve themselves, so you do not have to coordinate seating.
• Brunch. Fruit, pastries, egg dishes and a drink.
• Finger food and dessert. Good for an afternoon celebration after a morning ceremony.

Ask guests about food allergies or dietary needs on the RSVP. For help with quantities, see how much food to plan per guest. If you would prefer guests to bring a dish, a sign-up helps avoid duplicates. Our guide to potluck sign-ups explains how.

Wording the invitation

Formal: "Together with their families, Maria and James invite you to the christening of their daughter, Lucia Rose, on Sunday, November 9, at 11:00 am at St. Mary's Church, 100 Main Street. Please join us afterwards for lunch at 12:30 pm at 45 Oak Lane. Kindly reply by October 26."

Casual: "We are baptizing Lucia on Sunday, November 9, at 11 am at St. Mary's. We would love for you to join us for lunch at our home afterwards, from 12:30 to 3 pm. Please reply by October 26."

If you prefer no gifts, you can add a line such as "Your presence is the only gift we need." Our guide to no-gifts invitation wording has more ideas.

Collecting RSVPs

Because there are two events and guests may attend one or both, it helps to ask for replies for each part. An online invitation can ask separate questions, such as "Will you attend the ceremony?" and "Will you join us for lunch?", and show you a headcount for each. EzyEvite lets you add custom questions to the RSVP form, and you can start from a general invitation template and edit the wording. Guests reply without making an account, which helps older relatives.

Keep the day itself simple

Christenings and baptisms are often scheduled around a church service, which leaves the host with a tight window between the ceremony and the meal. Ask a relative or friend to handle the venue while you are at the service, so the food is ready when people arrive. Keep the schedule loose, with time for photographs and for older relatives to sit down. Remember that the baby may need to nap or feed at an unpredictable moment, and that a calm, flexible plan will serve everyone better than a precise one. A short note to guests about the timing helps them arrive prepared and relaxed.

Checklist

• Confirm the ceremony date, time and any preparation requirements.
• Decide who is invited to the ceremony and who to the celebration.
• Choose a celebration time that works around the baby's nap.
• Send invitations three to four weeks ahead with a reply-by date.
• Ask about allergies and dietary needs.
• Share parking, dress and gift notes in a final message the week before.

Settling the ceremony details first gives you a solid frame for everything else.

Related reading: Out-of-Town Guests: What Information to Send and When and Potluck, Catered or Cooked Yourself: Choosing How to Feed Your Guests.